Spinster mood

I think I act like a spinster now. Not that I want to be a spinster.

I always think if someone still not married at older age, that person will spontaneously have weird mood or weird personality.

Recently, I felt that I have grudge over everything. If I die now, I am sure I will become the ghost like in typical Korean horror movies, ghost with so much hatred. Can't even have peace even after dead.

At this moment, I hate all my friends. Usually I am quite tolerant with my friends' attitude. But now, I can find all small fault in my friends.

Yesterday was my first day to swimming pool. I have never been to a public swimming pool, since I was 5 years old. Basically I never try to learn how to swim, because I was scare of water, fear of drowning. My friend, CS, also my jogging friend, asked me to go to swimming with her. She is also a beginner in swimming, had been to few swimming lesson, but didn't finish the course because too busy. CS is a lady with strong character. Whenever she decided to do anything, she won't find any excuse to do it.

Another friend, Jh, always wanted to learn how to swim. So I informed Jh that we are going, meaning she can join us if she wants. I can't believe what she asked me next. She asked me, does she have to bring her swimming suit?! My volcano erupted at the moment I received her text message. Maybe she can ask me, "do we have to swim in water?" next time.

Then I ask her, why did she ask the question? She said she feel shy to wear a swimming suit. She just bought her swimming suit. What is the point of buying it, when she is not planning to wear it? She always said she have high self esteem, but.... I am so speechless now... Maybe she is trying to make me praise her good body, during persuasion session. I gave up!!

written by grudged Nomi

on 29 Jan 2010